Generosity
Living in a culture that is so different from the United States gives us an opportunity to see the world and our lives from a different perspective. Dominican daily life is very communal. Typically, you live with your parents until you are married. It is common to live in the same community your entire life near relatives and lifelong friends. Your neighbors and friends have been your neighbors and friends for decades. Mommas helping mommas as they parent the children who love to run through the streets. Grandmas, aunts, and older siblings stepping in to help with childcare as parents work. Need a cup of sugar or an egg; you walk next door and ask. If you grab a quick snack from the colmado, you open the bag of chips and share with those around you. Without thinking or without someone asking, you generously share what you have. You share your time, possessions, and life. It is just what you do; it is what you know.
During the years that we lived in the States, we had some sweet neighbors. I have no doubt we could have asked for help or borrowed a cup of sugar, but we didn’t ask. We lived our lives self-sufficiently, and if we needed something, we would jump in the car and get it. Dependence and relationship took a backseat to politeness and not being a bother. Living our lives relying on ourselves was an indicator of success. Of course, we occasionally asked for help watching the children or moving homes because that was socially the norm. And truth be told, Scott and I could handle things for the most part. But what did this independence cost us?
Opportunities.
Relationships.
Humbleness.
Communities.
Living away from our former support system consisting of grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, friends, co-workers, and most of all the Bigs, we are being stretched to adopt the Dominican communal way of life. Slowly but surely, we accept the help from the woman next door who will sweep our sidewalk and come into the yard to water. We didn’t ask, but she offers freely. When the sweet boy next door, Hansel, rings the bell at our gate to tell us that “basura” is coming, we open the gate so that he can help pull our trash can down the road. When I needed to get some bloodwork done, I messaged a friend and asked for help with the girls. Needing a weekend away with Hubs, I asked another friend if she could keep the girls for the weekend. I do NOT like to drive outside of our community and we only have one car, so catching rides with friends to go to run errands requires me to accept help. Neighbors stopping by and saying they aren’t feeling well provides us with opportunities to give orange juice and some cold medicine. Bags and bags of limes, avocados, and mangos given to us because there is an abundance. Neighbors celebrating a birthday walk to us with pieces of cake on a plate. Thoughtful. Intentional. Generous.
The Dominicans and the American missionary communities take care of their own. And slowly but surely, we are discovering that we are becoming part of them and they are becoming part of us. And now we have…
Opportunities.
Relationships.
Humbleness.
Community.
When we move back to the States, I hope that we will continue to live our lives with generosity. Asking. Offering. Celebrating and mourning. Eating. Praying. Speaking truth. Listening. Sharing. Observing. Depending. Living side by side. Serving one another.
This way of living feels right. I believe it is how it is meant to be. It is how God created us. We were meant to do life with others. Allowing this shift towards being generous requires us to open our hands and humbly offer what we have with an abundance of generosity. It starts with us.