Hola to Howdy

Here we go again.

It is not how we would have written this part of the story.  

But it is and has always been God’s story for us.

It is not part of our 5-year plan.

But it is part of God’s plan.

We are headed back to Texas. 

A few months ago, Makarios leadership asked Scott (and therefore our family) to move sooner than our original five-year commitment.  As Makarios grows and is now located in two countries, there is a growing need for someone in Austin to help with program oversight and partnership development.  We believe that our next step of obedience is to trust God’s leading and move to Austin (a new city for us) 2 ½ years earlier than we planned.

Listen.  Complete disclosure.  I am bummed.  Disappointed.  Sad.

  • Scott and I had prayed for this opportunity for 15 years and to have our time cut short has been something that we have had to wrestle with and really spend time processing the “whys”.  Now, everything is shifting.  

  • We had a plan - a financial plan.  We knew that at the end of our 5 years, we would have been prepared financially to restart life in the US.  Everything we own is in a 10x5 storage unit in Texas.  In a few years Jake will be out of school, Emma Grace will be finished, and cars will be paid off.  But now?  Now, everything is shifting.

  • We LOVE our staff.  I mean, I am just wild about the men and women we serve alongside.  I have a small group of women that I meet with once a month and they have been so vulnerable and honest.  They are sharing their stories with me and it is such an honor.  Now, everything is shifting.

  • One of Scott’s big life goals is to be fluent in Spanish - he is so, so close.  Now, everything is shifting.

  • Scott, in so many ways, feels like he has just gotten started.  He is working closely with local leaders to build their programs and encourage them to lead their staff with high expectations, accountability, and a pastor’s heart.  Now, everything is shifting.

  • Zoey just started Makarios again after 18 months of the school campus being closed.  Our hope (and hers) was for her to be fluent in Spanish before moving back home.  Clearly, that isn’t going to happen.  She is processing what it means to leave early and for the goals and hopes to not be realized.  Now, everything is shifting

  • Our dream.  A dream of serving God as a family unit in the midst of a different culture is ending so much sooner than we thought.  We’re struggling with the disappointment and confusion - why?  Why not us?  Now, everything is shifting.

But in God’s kindness, He is revealing some hidden gems for our family.

  • Emma Grace will once again have the support of a family living in the same city!  

  • We will be near our parents and family.  Scott’s dad has been undergoing chemo treatment the last 6 months, and the reality of distance and hard things has been so very real to us.  

  • Zoey will be able to transition back to the US at an earlier age.  There is such a big difference between 6th grade and 8th grade!  Time to learn how to make friendships and navigate school once again. 

  • The job that Scott is transitioning to is one where he can continue to work with the leadership in the DR and in Uganda.  His work of helping them to develop programs, mentoring, and encouraging the local staff will continue. 

  • I have also been offered a job with Makarios, and it is a job that I am not only thankful for, but one that I love - telling stories.

  • The opportunity to find and create community for Scottie.  She will be 18 years old by the time we move back.  EIGHTEEN!  We know now more than ever that it is time for us to create opportunities for Scottie to have purpose to her days.  

  • We will be near Scott's sister and her family again after 13 years of distance.  Zoey has NEVER lived in the same city as her aunt, uncle, and cousins.

  • We will be able to find a local church and begin to rebuild community sooner than later.  I have healed so much over the last two years and I am MORE than ready to throw myself into the Church.  I miss worship.  I crave diving more into theology.  I desire a community of believers.

Holding God’s kindness in one hand and my disappointment in another, I wake up each day reminding myself to feel what I feel, remember what I know, do what I can do, and hold onto 3 truths.

In the midst of this transition, I feel

  • Tired.  Tired of transitioning.

  • Deeply sad.  I am sad to leave with so much unfinished. 

  • Peace.  Despite being tired and sad, I have such peace.

In the midst of this transition, I know

  • God has a plan and in my humanness, I can only see one small part at a time, but God’s perspective is so much greater than mine.

  • God is in control, and I am NOT.

  • God wants good things for me and for my family.

In the midst of this transition, I am

  • Planning for our move home (there is SO much to do).

  • Trying to remain present and spend as much time as possible with our people in the DR.

  • Continuing to deep dive into theology, asking questions, and discovering what I really believe and why.

In the midst of this transition, I will hold onto these truths

  • Scott and I must be a team.

  • God simply wants us to be obedient

  • Ministry is where my two feet are - Houston, Dominican Republic or Austin.

All of these things keep our eyes on our Shepherd as He leads us.

All of these things work together and shape our future.  

All of these things shift who we are, as we continue to become who God wants us to be. 

None of these things are bad or wrong - all of these things can be used for good - our good and the good of those we meet.  

None of these things create a totality of our story - all of these things contribute to the story God is weaving together.  

None of these things mark an ending - all of these things indicate a new beginning as we transition from one to another.

In October 2019, we left the Bigs, our family, our friends, and our home and stepped off a plane and transitioned from Howdy to Hola.

In May 2022, we will leave our friends, the Makarios staff, our dream of being missionaries, and our home and will step off a plane and transition from Hola to Howdy.

And with great confidence, I can say that in both situations I know that God in His great mercy, grace, and kindness towards us - was and will be present in both situations. Our God is a God of the hola and the howdy.

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Across the Caribbean and Back

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a season of slow mornings