My Year of Just Jesus
At the end of 2020, I knew without a doubt that what I needed above all else was to focus on just Jesus. The world was spinning out of control, and I watched as the American church became more and more divisive. Christians choosing sides and unwilling to give grace to those who didn’t agree with them on everything political and social. Christians throwing verses at one another to justify their stance(s). What I needed was to pull it all back and focus on Jesus. Just Jesus. In January 2021, I began a 43 week study of the life of Jesus. I read the gospels synoptically and compared the verses and stories side by side. I read the gospels holistically (twice) to see how each author wrote the story as a whole. I didn’t enter into this journey alone; I invited other women to join me. We studied the verses, researched the meaning, discussed the meanings, encouraged, and challenged one another to dig deeper. Focusing on JUST Jesus changed me, and I am beyond thankful for this journey. As I look back at the 43 weeks, there are 10 major reflective moments and 10 personal paradigm shifts.
10 Reflections
Jesus is everything.
My dismissal of the Old Testament and understanding of the Law is a detriment to understanding more fully the whole story. The Old Testament provides context and enriches the story of Jesus.
My disenchantment with the American church is based in disappointment and often narcissistic behaviors. But the church is part of the kingdom of God. Jesus came in part because He was creating the church - a holy, set-apart nation.
Things have been added to the gospels, and they continue to be taught as scriptural fact. (example: woman caught in adultery at end of Mark)
Jesus speaks often about how disciples are supposed to love one another. In fact, many of the verses I attributed to loving ALL were actually about loving other believers.
Yes, there are some inconsistencies, but so many of these accounts are similar. WOW!
How many times did Jesus tell his friends everything, but they just didn’t understand?
Jesus desperately loved Israel. In fact, the accounts of healing were almost entirely Jewish people. He came to speak truth, teach and model the heart behind the law, and ultimately provide a salvation path for both the Jews and the Gentiles.
There is a clear model for discipleship/mentorship.
10 Personal Paradigm Shifts
Renewed appreciation for the Old Testament and a great desire to understand more.
Return to the church. Putting my disenchantment aside, I must become an active member of the church again. I need it. A community of believers is part of the plan to build the kingdom of God, and I don’t want to miss it!
Read scripture more carefully. Instead of believing what I have always been told and what I have always believed, I need to do the work.
Love disciples/believers and give them the same grace that I would give a nonbeliever. It is easier for me to give grace to a nonbeliever because I have such high expectations of a believer. But we are told over and over to love one another, and there are no excuses for my self-righteous judgments.
Seek for understanding. When I am not sure what something means I will research it, pray, and try to determine what I think it means. Not just what the pastor says, the Hubs says, or even the so-called experts - what do I believe it means.
Learn church history, theology, and discover where our church fathers got it right and where they went wrong. I don’t want to sugarcoat our history, but I need to understand it.
Lament all of the ways I got it wrong and perpetuated beliefs that I no longer hold as true. When you know better, you do better. So I lament where I messed it up and ask for guidance as I move forward.
Serve, love, and advocate for the least of these. They were important to the heart of Jesus, and they must be important to me. What does this look like for me? How can I serve them? (I’m not sure, but I need to figure it out.)
Disciple intentionally. Who?
Jesus is everything. (He really, really is.)
The things that I have discovered this year have both angered me and drawn me closer to Jesus. I feel myself waking up, and I have never wanted to understand more fully than I do right now. Some of the things that I now believe have forced me to have real, honest conversations with Scott, my family, and friends. When we look for a new church, my list of what I am looking for has changed. Trying to understand different perspectives without fear but simply to understand and determine my personal beliefs is empowering. I crave knowledge and truth, and at the same time feel compelled to put that knowledge and truth into action. I am waking up, and I am changing. I pray that the church wakes up and changes, but in the meantime, I know it starts with me.