Two Months in the DR (12/16/2019)
nesting ~ not yet
December 16, 2019 marks two months living full time in La Republica Dominicana. It has been AMAZING. We had a trial run this summer when we spent 7 ½ weeks here helping with summer groups. Those weeks taught us some important lessons (see previous post). Great news - Scott has not annoyed me this time around! I believe that through those two months, God gave us an opportunity to figure out a couple of important things in order to set us up with a smooth, successful transition. I’m sharing the two most important ones because I believe they can help all of us, no matter our age, socio-economic background, or geographical location.
Nesting is important. There is a reason expecting mommas have an instinctual desire to nest before their child arrives. Washing cloths. Organizing. Sterilizing bottles and pacifiers. We do it because instinctually we are trying to prepare for the unknown. Creating a home as quickly as possible helped our entire family to feel settled. Safe. Comfortable. Secure. We knew before we moved what things about a home were the most important for us, and we worked quickly to make those things happen. We knew that the sooner the house was unpacked, organized, decorated, and personalized, the sooner our reality would become REAL. The little things in the nesting process are important. Pieces from our home in the states are placed strategically to remind us of life before. We intertwine new items to create the mix of both the old and the new. Photos of Jake and Emma Grace placed in prominent places to help us from missing their ADORABLE faces. Nesting helped Scottie and Zoey call this house “home” sooner than they would have. We created a place that feels both American and Dominican. Nesting has been one of the best things we did in our first two months!
There is great freedom in saying “not yet”. While we were at our missionary training in September, Scott and I created a list of intentions. I literally typed up a document titled DR Intentionality. Items included: what we needed to protect, scheduled breaks, what we wanted to do to stay in touch with our supporters, how to maintain a close relationship with Jake and Emma Grace, family and friends in Texas, boundaries for the first few months, Big Picture Ministry Goals, Sabbath, Scott’s needs and goals, and my needs and goals. We brainstormed and agreed upon specific ideas, hopes, and wants. I knew that Scott (or I) wouldn’t commit us to unnecessary weekly obligations because we had already agreed to what we could handle the first few months. I knew how to support Scott to achieve his goals and needs, and he knew what I needed. Individually, we are able to confidently say “not yet” and not feel pressure to say yes. We are able to protect our Sabbath and find rest. We find great freedom in the “not yet” because we already know that we are on the same page, we believe we are doing exactly what God wants us to do at this exact point in this journey, and we do not feel any pressure to do anything other than what is right for our family. In this freedom of “not yet”, we are able to acclimate, feel less overwhelmed, remain physically and spiritually well, and have the capacity to encourage, love, and serve.
My challenge to whoever reads this post: You don’t have to move to a Caribbean island in order to take these two lessons into 2020. (But honestly, the DR is beautiful, and we welcome you to join us in paradise!)
Look around your space (home, bedroom, dorm room). How can you make your space safe, comfortable, relaxing, and at its core, a representation of you. You don’t have to spend money to do this! If you don’t love it, then change it. Get rid of it. If something makes you happy, put it somewhere prominent. Add quirky, amusing decorations just to keep you entertained. (My pink flamingo brings me IMMENSE JOY!) Feeling overwhelmed by stuff? Purge! Nesting is instinctual for a reason! NEST!!!
Create a list of intentionality in your life. Write it down. Hold yourself accountable for the list, but at the same time give yourself grace. Allow the list to ebb and flow as life changes (spoiler - life is always changing). If you are exhausted and feel like you are working 7 days a week, then create a pocket of time for rest...for Sabbath. Protect that time. Feeling disconnected from your spouse, family, or friends? Write down a couple of things you can do to stay connected. Want to change a habit or behavior, create an action plan to make it happen. When other opportunities come along that aren’t on the list, you don’t have to say no forever. Just say “not yet”. Use this list to give you freedom to say “not yet”.
We have settled into our new home - new country - very well. Surprisingly well. I miss my Bigs. Our family. My students and co-workers. Our community in Texas. But, the feeling isn’t overwhelming. The girls have adjusted beautifully. There has been incredible peace and security. I have had the best sleep the last two months - like GREAT sleep. As I reflect on why, I know that it is God’s kindness. He kept laying it on my heart to be intentional in the nesting (I have the to-do lists to prove it was well thought out and purposeful) and the permission to say “not yet” by giving Scott and I direction in our list of intentionality.
nesting ~ not yet