one word

Each year I chose a word.  One word to help keep me focused.  A word that best summarizes my goals or an area of change or growth.  In November, I create a page in my journal where I list every word that comes to mind.  Throughout the month of December, I process the year I am leaving and dream and plan for the year that I am entering.  As I process and evaluate, I begin to narrow down the word list.  Eventually, I begin to see a pattern, and one word will rise to the top.  I take this one word and create a word map.  I put the word in the center of the page and around it I list every area of my life.  Marriage.  Ministry.  Job.  Writing.  Mothering.  Family.  Health.  Spiritual.  Emotional.  As I connect these areas to that one word, I write how I want to see that word manifest itself in each area.  

In years past, my words included community, intentional, overflow, and purpose.  This year, the word that rose to the top causes me just a little anxiety.  I am a tad afraid to share it.  I can feel it in my bones that this year’s word will challenge me because it requires confidence and the willingness to allow others to see me.  Really see me.  I have spent my life trying to be a good girl and that means that more times than not I walk the line between what I want to do and what I want to say and what I believe are the expectations of those around me.  It is easier to keep peace.  It is easier to not speak up.  It is easier to do what I have always done rather than do what I need to do.  It is easier to blend into the background, sit on the back row, and walk a few steps behind others.  This year is the year for me to be BOLD.

Bold.

(of a person, action, or idea) showing an ability to take risks; confident and courageous. (Oxford)

Risks for me include anything I may not do perfectly.  It is intrinsically part of who I am that trying to do something new causes me to whither and become small.  I watch my daughters tackle hard, new things in spite of their fear.  They may be nervous, but they do it.  I want that kind of boldness.

Risks for me include worrying what someone will think of me.  Will they like me?  I find that I only share my thoughts and feelings to a select few.  This selection process means that many feel as though they don’t really know me because I am always holding back.  It also means that so many assume that because I am quiet that I must agree with them.  Boldly speaking and sharing means that I have to come to terms that there will be some who are surprised.  Their opinions of me will change.  But perhaps my boldness will encourage others who, like me, are also keeping it all in and remaining silent.

Risks for me include everyday activities like driving to the grocery store, speaking my limited Spanish to a neighbor, and serving our community.  Risks for me include writing even if it is only for me.  Risks for me include making friends despite the losses I had in 2020. 

One of the things I feel most led to do is to encourage others.  I know firsthand how an encouraging word provides just enough of a push to try something new.  Serving and loving our missionaries is one of my favorite things.  Sharing biblical truth about marriage, parenting, and being a child of God remains heavy on my heart.  In each of these areas, I must be BOLD, but it also requires me to EMBOLDEN those I serve.

Embolden. 

give (someone) the courage or confidence to do something or to behave in a certain way.  (Oxford)

What a privilege it is to EMBOLDEN someone else by speaking words of encouragement and truth.  When they are unsure of their gifts and abilities, I have the opportunity to point out how amazing they are and how desperately we need them to take action.  What an honor it is to see someone walk into who God has designed them to be and the good works He has prepared for them.  What a responsibility.  One I do not take lightly.  

Being BOLD seems difficult enough, but last week I realized that the challenge this year may not come from being BOLD.  The challenge may in fact be offering grace and mercy as I step into BOLDNESS.  The challenge may be that as I strive to EMBOLDEN others I will need to be patient and loving.  

This year’s word has many layers.  

As I wake up each morning, I will speak these words.

May I be bold because I follow a bold Jesus.

May I speak boldly, but may the words be full of truth and grace.

May I model boldness by striving to imitate Jesus.

May I embolden others to be the very best versions of themselves.

The year 2021 is my year to be BOLD.