Lament
“I’m just so very sorry.” Words exchanged through a text with my friend Nicole.
Weeks of reading social media posts, news stories, and conversations about the senseless deaths of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and George Floyd. Heaviness as I try to figure out what part I can play to make a better nation for Nicole’s son. Watching my Jacob and Emma Grace wrestle with how the world is much harsher, more unjust, and more cruel than the small, Christian private school education they received.
I’m just so very sorry. Words that come across as platitudes. Words that don’t adequately express what I am really feeling.
A few years ago, Emma Grace and I attended a conference for racial reconciliation. During the conference, they had a time of lamenting. It was powerful. Raw. Real. Soul connecting. We lamented together the many obstacles and injustices the minorities in our country face.
According to Merriam-Webster:
Lament - (1) to express sorrow, mourning, or regret for, often demonstratively (2) to regret strongly
A demonstrative expression of sorrow.
A demonstrative expression of mourning.
A demonstrative expression of regret.
So much more than “I’m so very sorry.”
I lament our nation’s history of white supremacy by pushing out the Native Americans and taking land and resources that were theirs.
I lament our nation’s history of slavery.
I lament the laws and systems that were put into place early in our nation with a goal of pulling wealthy white people up and pushing down anyone of color.
I lament black men and black women being treated as property and dehumanized.
I lament the great fight young black men and black women fought in order to go to schools designated for white children.
I lament the many men and women who were treated as less than and not allowed to sit next to a white person in a restaurant, drink from a water fountain, or sit freely on public transportation.
I lament the young white girls and boys who were raised in a society that shaped prejudice and racism into their very being.
I lament crime legislation that punishes low income men and women more than the wealthy.
I lament an education system that continues to be broken.
I lament a judicial system that continues to incarcerate innocent men and women.
I lament non-white men and women who make decisions every day based on how others will perceive them or react to them simply because of the color of their skin.
I lament any child who wishes their skin color was different because the country they live in glorifies whiteness above all.
I lament that mommas fear for their non-white sons’ lives every single day when they step out of their homes.
I lament that the mainstream media uses all of the division for their financial gain.
I lament the seemingly lack of politicians who will do the right thing regardless of their party affiliation instead of positioning themselves for re-election.
I lament the prejudices and racism immigrants face while trying to live the American dream and provide their families with a better life.
I lament that a country that boasts being a God-fearing country is demonstrating such ungodly behavior.
I lament that many American churches aren’t standing before their congregations and challenging the church to love ALL people through words and actions.
I lament that my children are having to fight for something that should have been better by now.
I lament for the things that I don’t understand, will never experience, and cannot imagine.
I lament...
It is more than “I am so very sorry.”
““Because of the LORD’s faithful love
we do not perish
for his mercies never end
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness!
I say, ‘The LORD is my portion,
therefore I will put my hope in him.””
Lord, your mercies for ALL of us never end. Thank you.
Lord, your faithfulness is great. Thank you.
Lord, you alone are my portion and are worthy of my hope. Thank you.
I lament Lord because I do not know what else to do. May my lamentations be more than words. May my lamentations create in me a new heart full of compassion. May my lamentations manifest into a bold voice with steps of action. May my lamentations reach across to hold the hands of my non-white friends.
““Restore us, LORD, God of Armies;
make your face shine on us,
so that we may be saved.””