Just a Moment
respite (Merriam Webster)
a period of temporary delay
an interval of rest or relief
Just a moment to breathe.
Just a moment to be.
Just a moment to nap.
Just a moment to sit by the pool without watching children.
Just a moment to enjoy a meal with Hubs.
Just a moment to relax.
Just a moment to unwind.
Just a moment to read. Watch a movie.
Just a moment to talk with Hubs.
Just a moment to slowly drink coffee.
Just a moment to not work.
Just a moment to not talk a child through a shower.
Just a moment to not hear “mom”.
Just a moment where no one knows me.
Just a moment with no expectations.
Just a moment to sleep in.
Just a moment to walk on the beach.
Just a moment to dream.
Just a moment to write.
Just a moment to not do laundry.
Just a moment to not feed kids.
Just a moment to not wash dishes.
Just a moment to be.
Just a moment to breathe.
In over 21 years of being mom and 16 years of being momma to a child with special needs, I have never felt this overwhelming need to escape for just a moment. The talk of respite care pops up in Facebook groups, books, and on lists of services for families with special needs children. Intellectually I understand the purpose and need. But to get this momma, who prides herself on being able to do it all, to take advantage of it, now that will take much more than intellectual understanding. I had to feel exhausted - mentally and emotionally. I finally came to a place where I cried UNCLE and asked for help. (Yes, I fully realize this is a pride issue!) I messaged my sweet friend, Jacque, and asked her if she would watch the girls for a night. She immediately said yes. Honestly, I would have ignored the yes because there was just a little regret that I even asked. To inconvenience someone. Admitting weakness. Dealing with the preparation to get Scottie ready. But my friend messaged me to see if we were going for the weekend. Because she pursued the request and insisted on two nights, I had the incredible gift of having just a moment.
Momma of a special needs child/foster momma/adoptive momma/momma caring for an elderly family member - Ask for help. Respite is not a frivolous luxury, but it is an actually need. Take a moment. You need a break but your child needs a break from you too! If you feel selfish, so be it. My guess is you aren’t selfish very often. In fact, I feel as though I really know you, and you could stand to be just a little more selfish. Breathe more. Spend time with Hubs or friends. Just take a moment!
Friends/Family of the above mommas - When they ask for help, give it to them. No guilt. Be excited for them and make it exciting for the child. If the momma doesn’t ask for help, don’t assume it is because she doesn’t need it. She doesn’t want to be a burden. She doesn’t want you to judge her child or parenting. She worries every moment her children is away from her and sometimes it is easier to just not leave them. Be persistent. Pursue her. Besides helping out momma, I promise you will be BLESSED beyond measure for the time you spend with her child.
Just a moment to be still is a moment that gives you hours of patience, energy, and strength. So thankful that we took our moment, and I am committed to asking for more moments for Hubs and me.